Phew, found it harder than I would have thought to write up a satire! The first question in my head was what I would write about? I mean, it’s not like we have a wide range of satirical things to write about in the society, do we?
The roads are all well-built, without a hint of potholes.
The electricity, even in the little small town of mine, is twenty four/ seven… Unannounced power cuts? Hah! Are you kidding me? Is that even a thing? No, no… definitely not.
India… India is a lovely country, with nothing bad in it.
What do you mean we have religious tension going on? Oh no, what an intolerant statement! That, my dear readers is cultural diversity! Oh, pssht! Don’t you dare argue about it! Remember the ‘Value Education’ book in first standard? Yeah, that book said that India is a great country, where different people live in religious harmony, there is no caste-ism, no racism and no bias. None at all.
We have amazing movies in our kitty, like, Dilwale, Prem Ratan Dhan Payo, Dhoom 3 and…
No, not the Lunch Box. Please, not the serious movies, bro!
Education is so amazing that many of the toppers in India are employed out of India!
Eh, what do you mean they should be working for their own nation? Oh, no, no, no! They don’t go there for the money, or the high standard of living! Not at all! They go there to spread India’s amazing culture. And no, they are not arrogant when they return to their nation with a foreign degree or work experience.
Oh my gosh, have you never watched a Karan Johar movie? If you want to know the true emotions of NRIs, please do buy a Dharma Production’s movie in a store near you, or order it on your Dish TV.
I would love to continue painting this amazing picture of India, and how amazing it is. And make tons of promises how I would not leave my country for a million dollars. But then, I would be lying. I am not certainly, partial to lying.
See, the problem with us Indians, or I don’t know, humans in general is, the fact that we do not want to accept the fact that there is a problem in our society.
No, dear readers, accepting that there is a problem is the first step towards solving the problem, that doesn’t make you anti-nationalist.
And for the sake of everything that is good in this world, going out of India and missing India does not make you a patriot… (In your face, Watan Ki Khushbu from DDLJ)
I love myself, but I know I have shortcomings, I am really sarcastic, I correct everybody’s grammar, spend time procrastinating while I could be learning. I accept all of it. Then, I can change these things about myself. I haven’t yet, but hey, I don’t go correcting people’s grammar on their Facebook statuses, that’s an improvement, right?
Well, that’s how you improve. The aim of the short and sweet satire was that we need to accept that there is something wrong going on in our nation and accepting it and working to improve the present situation would not make us anti-nationalists. I love my nation. No, I don’t need to prove that to anyone.
It does not make me an anti-nationalist to say that, ‘Hey, we are becoming more and more religiously segregated as time passes and we need to calm ourselves down and not be these extremists and not follow the extremist people on either side.’
Or the fact that I really want to say that, “Chill out, I love to watch a good Salman Khan movie but it is not always necessary that we have a plot there. Or that I need a plot for a simple time-pass movie to get away from the reality of life. But that doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate a good movie with a plot, and the trending serious themes. My preference of either of the two does not define me as intelligent or dumb.”
In the end, what all of us need to do is chill out, stop yelling… definitely stop yelling, accept the problem, stop procrastinating and take a step to solve it.